Women with Controlling Partners: Taking Back Your Life from a Manipulative or Abusive Partner: a self-help book based on my recovery groups for women with controlling partners.
A controlling or abusive partner can break even the strongest person—unless you know what to look for. Written by an expert in intimate partner abuse and based on her highly successful recovery program for women with controlling partners, this book will give you the strength, courage, and strategies you need to acknowledge the problem and stand up for yourself once and for all—whether you stay or leave the relationship.
If you have a controlling partner, you aren’t alone. Millions of women suffer psychological abuse at the hands of a spouse or intimate partner during some point in their lives, not fully seeing or knowing what is happening to them. Research shows that psychological abuse affects women’s overall well-being more than physical abuse, is a bigger contributor to inducing fear, and can be a precursor to violence. To make matters worse, having a controlling partner often results in hidden injuries like anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, trauma, and low self-efficacy—feeling like you can’t make a difference in your life. So, where can you turn for help?
Based on over a decade of clinical and domestic abuse research, Women with Controlling Partners will help you identify the coercive constraints that can be predictive of intimate partner abuse, recognize the harmful effects of psychological abuse on your mental and physical health, and gain the personal strength and power to break free. Using the author’s three-stage recovery model, you’ll be empowered to move out of denial, deconstruct what holds you psychologically captive, and take back your life.
Abuse can be devastating, and having a controlling partner can make you feel crazy—and as if you’re the one responsible. But you’re not crazy, and you’re not to blame! With this important, one-of-a-kind recovery process, you’ll finally find the clarity of mind, courage, and strength to protect yourself from the hurtful control that damages your mental and physical health, and move toward a safer and happier life.
Take Back Your Life from a Controlling Partner
“Women with controlling partners don’t merely suffer blows to their self-esteem and confidence; they also gradually and insidiously lose their sense of who they are. Deeply validating and brimming with practical advice and wisdom, Women with Controlling Partners guides readers through the often subtle process of psychological abuse, helping them escape the confusion and shame that enshroud their experience by offering a detailed road map back to themselves—and their lives. Their journey is made all the more reassuring by the rich voices of women who’ve traveled the exact same path in Lambert’s recovery groups and arrived at their final destination—freedom—feeling deeply empowered.”
—Craig Malkin, PhD, Harvard Medical School lecturer and author of the internationally acclaimed Rethinking Narcissism
“This book offers an important opportunity for the multitude of women who are in relationships that are controlling, but who do not resonate with the term ‘intimate partner violence.’ It presents straightforward information about the insidious consequences that can occur from being in a relationship with someone who is controlling, and the levels of harm that can occur over time that may not be obvious to the person herself….”
—Janet Yassen, LICSW, Acute Crime Crisis Services Coordinator of the Victims of Violence Program at the Cambridge Health Alliance, Harvard Medical School faculty, and cofounder of the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center
Abusive Relationships Abusive Men: Why Sexual Harassment and Emotional Abuse Happens and What You Need to Know to Protect Yourself.
Harvey Weinstein, Charlie Rose, Matt Lauer, Bill Cosby, and numerous others. From entertainment moguls to news anchors and politicians, men from all walks of life are being called out for their abuse and victimization of women.
For many women, abuse—sometimes sexual in nature, and sometimes not—begins subtly yet insidiously, and this is the beginning of a destructive, controlling relationship. The abuser’s need for control is often slow and difficult to spot at the onset, but the hidden injuries resulting from this abuse are meant to keep the victim off-balance and in a subservient position.
It happens with the boss who takes advantage of his ability to hire and fire by making it clear to a woman he has his eye on her—that she is expected to reciprocate his advances. It happens when the boyfriend manipulates his girlfriend into believing that her opinions don’t count anymore. And it happens when the husband threatens to divorce his wife if she doesn’t kowtow to his demands, painting a frightening picture of her being alone and in hardship without him.
Abuse, harassment, manipulation, and victimization know no boundaries, and these unwanted acts take place both at home and in the workplace. Symptoms of abuse can include:
• A sense of eroded well-being
• Diminished self-confidence
• Feelings of shame
• Loss of trust in one’s own judgment
• Stress, anxiety, or depression
With over three decades of experience as a psychotherapist and intimate partner abuse expert, Carol A. Lambert, MSW has worked with over 1000 women who have suffered at the hands of controlling partners. In Abusive Relationships: Abusive Men she will show you:
• How to recognize the signs of abuse
• How to protect yourself
• Strategies for avoiding manipulation and coercion
• How to begin the healing process when necessary
You will discover how to identify your feelings, pinpoint the controlling, abusive behaviors of the potential perpetrator, and then address the issue in a way that will protect you from further harm. Ultimately, this guide will put you on the path toward recovery, empowerment, and freedom.
No longer do you need to feel helpless, confused, or doubtful about what you feel. Instead, Carol will gently guide you toward an actionable set of strategies that will not only prevent you from vulnerability and abuse but will also build the strength that will help you act in your own best interest in all situations.
A great reference summarizing the controlling male both in the workplace ..
A great reference summarizing the controlling male both in the workplace and in the home. Carol shares helpful and clear actions to assist any female in these situations. Like her first book, Women with Controlling Partners, her approach is positive, kind, empowering and conversational. I recommend this short powerful book for all women of any age.
Don’t let your daughters go off to college without….
Most women I know have been either victimized or know someone who has by a man in power. This book puts it all out on the table – why men do it, how to recognize abuse, and what to do to avoid and protect yourself. What great information. Don’t let your daughters go off to college without sharing this book with them. I will be getting copies for my daughters and girlfriends!
Nothing justifies abuse!
In this brief but powerful book, Carol Lambert deftly describes the all too frequent patterns of behavior that characterize abusive treatment of women, A clinician myself, I strongly recommend this guide which can help women contextualize and recognize these behaviors, Lambert further offers sensible, “actionable” strategies women can use for self-protection, including advice to “honor your own strong beliefs.”