This post originally appeared on Psychology Today.
I’ve been a facilitator of Recovery Groups for Women with Controlling Partners since 1993. In that time, I’ve observed over 1,000 women address their relationships, identify similar coercive tactics, and recover from the subsequent psychological effects. They take empowering steps to make a better life for themselves, for their children, and, with hope, their partner. During this recovery process, a familiar question arises: “Are we all talking about the same man?”
Coercive Control and Physical Violence
Coercive tactics are not unique but are shared by many controlling men. History is full of male violence toward women and male domination of women. The belief systems embedded in history get passed from generation to generation. Despite the many positive cultural and political developments for women since 1970, we still live in a patriarchy. Men have more authority and empowerment than women. Today, we still see the effects of sexual harassment in the workplace; women receive less pay for the same work as men and there are greater expectations for women to handle chores in the home.