When you are told you’re wrong, stop and think; you just might be right.
Key points:
- A recent study of gaslighting highlights intimate partner abuse and social structures.
- Gaslighting often remains invisible to the targeted person.
- We can protect ourselves by knowing the coercive tactics, trusting our gut reactions, and learning more.
Gaslighting is a powerful type of psychological coercion used to alter the perception and beliefs held by another for one’s own advantage. In recent years, the word gaslighting has entered public discussion, scholarly research, and legal realms.
In 2022, Merriam-Webster selected “gaslighting” as the Word of the Year. In the realm of intimate partner abuse, gaslighting continues to be recognized as a harmful coercive tactic. Many U.S. states have either enacted or are considering coercive control legislation. Current research explores gaslighting in larger group systems including culture, religion, politics, etc.
Gaslighting Defined
In intimate partner abuse, a partner who uses gaslighting is denying and distorting a shared reality for personal benefit. The purpose is to dominate the relationship with their needs, feelings, and perceptions and to eliminate resistance. They convince their partner over time that the partner’s beliefs, thoughts, and memories are wrong—that they don’t make sense. Blaming and making untrue accusations such as calling their intimate partner “crazy,” or “abusive” are profoundly hurtful.
Gaslighting can be in the service of obtaining control or it can be for the purpose of harming the other to increase their vulnerability, making them susceptible to their partner’s control.
The power of gaslighting is that it instills confusion and creates self-doubt. Most survivors say that they no longer trust their perception or judgment. The confidence they once felt is gone, replaced by self-blame and shame. Over time, survivors can internalize false accusations into personal negative beliefs contributing to anxiety, depression, and trauma.
Gaslighting Is Brainwashing
Gaslighting is a type of brainwashing. The word “brainwashing” was recognized in the aftermath of the Korean War in popular culture. During the Korean War (1950-53), Albert Biderman, a social psychologist who studied coercive interrogation, illustrated how U.S. prisoners of war became compliant by Chinese and Korean methods of torture used to psychologically break prisoners. Biderman’s chart of coercion identifies coercive tactics causing psychological injury including “monopolization of perception”—hence, gaslighting. For decades, Biderman’s chart of coercion has been a central guide in domestic violence groups. [Read more…] about Gaslighting: Relationships and Culture
