Gaslighting: Relationships and Culture

Gaslighting is a powerful type of psychological coercion used to alter the perception and beliefs held by another for one’s own advantage. In recent years, the word gaslighting has entered public discussion, scholarly research, and legal realms.

In 2022, Merriam-Webster selected “gaslighting” as the Word of the Year. In the realm of intimate partner abuse, gaslighting continues to be recognized as a harmful coercive tactic. Many U.S. states have either enacted or are considering coercive control legislation. Current research explores gaslighting in larger group systems including culture, religion, politics, etc.

Gaslighting Defined

In intimate partner abuse, a partner who uses gaslighting is denying and distorting a shared reality for personal benefit. The purpose is to dominate the relationship with their needs, feelings, and perceptions and to eliminate resistance. They convince their partner over time that the partner’s beliefs, thoughts, and memories are wrong—that they don’t make sense. Blaming and making untrue accusations such as calling their intimate partner “crazy,” or “abusive” are profoundly hurtful.

Gaslighting can be in the service of obtaining control or it can be for the purpose of harming the other to increase their vulnerability, making them susceptible to their partner’s control.

The power of gaslighting is that it instills confusion and creates self-doubt. Most survivors say that they no longer trust their perception or judgment. The confidence they once felt is gone, replaced by self-blame and shame. Over time, survivors can internalize false accusations into personal negative beliefs contributing to anxiety, depression, and trauma.

Gaslighting Is Brainwashing

Gaslighting is a type of brainwashing. The word “brainwashing” was recognized in the aftermath of the Korean War in popular culture. During the Korean War (1950-53), Albert Biderman, a social psychologist who studied coercive interrogation, illustrated how U.S. prisoners of war became compliant by Chinese and Korean methods of torture used to psychologically break prisoners. Biderman’s chart of coercion identifies coercive tactics causing psychological injury including “monopolization of perception”—hence, gaslighting. For decades, Biderman’s chart of coercion has been a central guide in domestic violence groups.

Intimate Partner Abuse

In my recovery groups for women with controlling partners, I use Biderman’s chart of coercive tactics to provide psychoeducation of how one can become entrapped by an intimate partner. Over the past 30 years, as participants unpack their abusive experience, gaslighting has been identified as a central dynamic in their coercion.

Public Reflections of Gaslighting

Gaslighting that applies to intimate partner abuse in the home seems to parallel some current conditions that are taking place all around us. When we hear, read, or see denial of truths, citing of distorted perceptions, and the rising need for fact-checking in the media, we are possibly observing attempts and evidence of gaslighting in a larger forum.

Since the popularity of the term gaslighting has entered our culture, research scholars have begun to explore the wider implications of gaslighting to identify insights into social-cultural phenomena. Recently published, “Illuminating Gaslighting: A Comprehensive Interdisciplinary Review of Gaslighting Literature” brings critical attention to gaslighting in intimate partner abuse and to wider social structures:

“Interest in applying gaslighting to the context of broader social structures is understandable, given that gaslighting incorporates subtle control tactics aimed at silencing resistance. This can be seen as reminiscent of structural silencing, such as the repression of minority voices and promotion of dominant narratives.” (Darke et al., 2025)

One conclusion of the study is that further research of gaslighting is necessary, particularly since it may serve intimate partner abuse victims and the move for coercive legislation.

The More We Know, the More We Can Protect Ourselves

“The challenge with gaslighting is that it often remains invisible to the victims. To educate and introduce terms that can help to recognize systemic forms of abuse provides important tools of resistance for individuals it aims to control.” (Darke et al., 2025)

One important tool is our gut feeling in the moment. It can let us know something doesn’t feel right. Stop and think—gut feelings are not to be ignored. We can do reality checks on the information we’re told. This could be reviewing with a trusted friend or searching online for more information to help us decide if we can believe what we are hearing.

In recovery from intimate partner abuse, learning to recognize the covert tactics embedded in a partner’s behavior is critical. To be able to identify a coercive tactic in real time decreases its impact, shifts the responsibility to the perpetrator, and builds clarity and agency for the survivor.

The post first appeared on Psychology Today.

---

References